Movie budget 500$

That what happens if you play video games too much and you get kicked out of college because of them! You just get the last piece of money from your bank account and make a movie about the game that ruined your academic career using your knowledge from computer class, which happens to be the only you haven't failed. Watch below movie made after game Half-Life by couple amateurs that had a budget of slightly over 500$!!!!!!!!

Seven paradoxes of Soviet Union

Nobody works, but the plan is always fulfilled. The plan is fulfilled, but the shelves in the stores are empty. The shelves are empty, but nobody starves; nobody starves, but everybody is unhappy; everybody is unhappy, but nobody complains; nobody complains, but the jails are full.

Did Everyone Get Syllabus?

Very sad and at the same time pretty crazy lecturer at Russian school...

My Happy Russian Wedding

EVRICA!! I know the source of all issues!

Men are always puzzled by the way in which women think and never could understand the origin of those differences. But now I finally discovered the secret! You girls can't hide anymore, you are Chinese FAKES!!! Your brains come from a sweat shop, that explains all a lot!!

15 minute walk and so many thoughts

Anyone ever noticed how much crap you can think of while you are walking on the street? Maybe it's just me (which is most likely) but I have really random observations and some bitchy critics running through my head, here are some of them

1) The guy in a North Face coat, sweat pants and red Wisconsin hat on the scooter just made a turn in front me. Is it the same guy I just saw on the other corner? Why in the world you all look like freaking clones?! Is there anything else you would like to wear in your life besides that? Or do you do it on purpose so if you get in trouble no one will ever find you? The last one actually makes sense, lets imagine it for a second: "The suspect in today's accident was described as a 6 ft 1" white male in a black North Face coat, gray sweatpants and red Wisconsin hat, the suspect ran away from the scene of accident." Oh that's just great, now the search is limited to couple thousand students! Oh, just wait a second he was not listening to his iPod, that eliminates several hundreds of suspects....darn it people.

2) Walking by the memorial union I can see a girl that fits the image of a coastie: huge sunglasses, purse that is twice her size and another North Face coat, she is talking on her blackberry and of course 90% of her vocabulary consists f words: "Oh my God, He was like, I was like, so cute, like totally wasted etc." Then all of the sudden she sees her friend across the mall and without pausing conversation on the phone she starts to yell "Hiiiiiii, I am sorry I am on the phone.." Ok now, why in the fuck would you even think about doing that?! It is not like she was standing infront of you and could get offended if ignored, she prolly wouldn't even notice you and now she most likely didn't recognize you because you are another clone as well but different gender. Well, now after that you pissed everyone off by screaming at the ear of people around you and ze person you are on the phone, what's next? Are you happy now? If I was a person on the other end of the conversation I would jump in the cab, drive to your class, come to the auditorium and scream at your damn ear and then break your cell phone into pices!! If I was your father I would have got you a "shut the fuck up" cellular plan from AS&S cell provider with the very limited minutes, a fucking 18 digit phone number and filter that blocks words: "like,awesome, NO WAY, totally, wasted, last night, oh my God..."

3) I saw some dude on the street that I know from somewhere but don't remember his name so I nodded and then he reminded me of couple episodes that are still kind of beyond my understanding. I am talking about the so-called "small talks" that happened during some parties (even though I barely go out). So here I was standing on the porch of this house talking to some guy I know, yeah, we talk about what classes we are taking, how was the break, where we live bla bla bla...it becomes clear that he is not interested in this dialogue and it is slowly approaching the logical conclusion. After a short pause he tells me "Aaaahhh, yeah, I think I am gonna go and check on my friend.." Really? Why do you have to check on your friend? Is he alright? Does he have health condition? Is he socially ackward and you are afraid that he is hiding in the closet from the crowd of drunk college kids?And which one of your friends are you talking about, there are like 50 of your friends here?! Your friend is having fun playing beer pong or coins and I am almost sure that he doesn't give a fuck about you checking on him... Let me tell you, the lamest excuse ever! Can't you just say that we can talk sometime later, or that you are not in the mood to talk that would be ok with me because we both know we have nothing to talk about. Now you go inside and straight to the counter and you take a shot! Nice, so are you referring to bottle of cheap vodka as to your friend?! Yeah dude, I have nothing to add, if you can't be straight forward then learn other ways to be polite....

Finally after all that stream of aggressive pessimistic shit in my head I have reached the classroom, I need to calm down, take a deep breath...HOLY SHIT!I see the guy in black North Face jacket, sweatpants and Wisconsin red hat entering the class! Is he stocking me?Coincidence? Never fucking mind there are too many of them....
To be continued...

You Know You Are Russian When...

Here I found a list of stereotypes associated with people from former Soviet Union that are referred to as Russians and are not distinguished by nationality or ethnicity. based on my personal experiences below listed are stereotypes that are true about me or my friends. What can I say, "velcom to ze russian spacestation." Add your stereotypes in comments

1. You are standing next to the two largest suitcases at the airport.
2.You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone’s house.
3.You have or had rugs on your walls.
4.Your car windows are tinted twice the legal limit
5.Going over 100 mph is routine
6.At least 5 of your relatives are named Volodia, Yura, Olya, Oksana, Nataliya or Tanya
7.You’re driving on 2 tickets and don’t remember what your license looks like
8.You’ve been driving without a license for 2 years.
9.You stand around in circles of friends for an hour deciding what to do.
10.You know your a new Russian immigrant if you wear church shoes with jeans, shorts, or slacks… while playing volleyball.
11. All of your CDs are burned, or u bought them at a Bazar for 2 bucks a piece.
12.You get kicked out of every go kart, theme park, and anything potentially dangerous.
13.You have five leather jackets and matching gloves
14.You keep your stash of cash under your mattress instead of a savings account.
15.Twelve of your friends get into a movie with only one ticket
16. Your house is full of foreign medicine that is probably illegal here.
17.You use grocery bags to hold garbage
18.You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.
19.You eat bread with everything.
20.You recycle plastic cups and plastic plates, and sandwich bags by washing them.